When I am Afraid...

It's a dangerous thing, trust. What takes time to gain is easily lost with just one decision, action, or moment. There is a vulnerability with trusting another person. No matter how much time another person has worked to gain your trust, there is always the possibility to be let down or manipulated because of the given trust. What then? Do you still trust others who have proven trustworthiness, or do you give up on trusting anyone at all? If one lets you down, is another person not just as likely to let you down as well?

There is such a lack of hope in the above statements; however, many can relate to the above sentences. We have all been let down by someone we trust in big and small ways. Some leave a scar on us that causes us to not trust someone in the same way again. Sometimes that trust is able to be mended by time. Maybe this is in a dating relationship where you were used, manipulated, or treated contrary to what is right for a human being to treat another? Now, you may be afraid to ever trust someone in that way again. What if another person wounds you in that way? What if it makes your pain even worse? The wound is always there right? Is it not just about how we let it affect our lives? So, if someone harms us in that same way again...how could one bear that scar being torn open and covered with salt?

In any situation of losing trust, it makes it hard to trust again. Is there really even a person that could be trusted to never let you down? Is it even worth the risk of possible pain in any relationship including trust?

I could think of a million reasons to never trust people again; but, in the end all people will let you down at one point or another. The longer they are in your life then the more times they may let you down; because, no one is perfect. Though it’s a depressing thing to think about it’s a reality. There is so much sadness yet, there is also hope that there is someone who will never let you down. There is a negative powerful ripple affect of a friendship when someone does not live as a faithful friend. However, there is a greater positive ripple affect when a friend stays faithful till the end. This power is life changing and hope giving to all in need. This hope comes from one thing.

Psalm 27:10 (ESV)

For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me in.

As someone who just finished her Junior year of college and still having two years of classes left before I obtain my Master’s degree, the idea of debt is not a strange concept to me. I came out of my Freshman year of college with no debt; however, accepted that transferring to the next college God had in store for me required going into some debt. Each step of my college career has been a huge leap of faith. I know where and what God wants me studying and I know that He wants me studying now. I have contemplated taking some time off to not need to go into so much debt; but, then I think of all the things that God has brought me through and I realize I am putting God into a box. I began to believe that it was not possible to have the provisions I needed for my Senior year of college. I did not believe He could provide just how much I needed to return to school, I was sick of taking out loans, and I wanted have control over my finances. It would be easy to back out now from my calling to be a High School Guidance Counselor which requires a Master's degree in Counseling; but, I have realized I do not need control as long as I have Christ by my side to provide. The best parts of my life consisted of me giving up control and I believe the best parts of my life will continue to be when I submit to the leadership of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Jeremiah 17:7-8 (ESV)

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.”

God cannot be limited to a box because His powers go beyond the limits of our mortal bodies. If God was able to be confined to one of my boxes than He would not be a God that I would want to trust with my present or even my future. I had to make a choice this week. I had to decide if I would take a step of faith that God would provide even if that means after I graduate and providing the funds to pay off my student loans. I had to trust in God who has never shown anything but trustworthy to me that He knows what plan is best for me. I had to believe that backing out of college would not be in my best interest but would mean taking a step back on my journey of trusting God with ALL areas of my life.

I truly believe that right now God is providing for my education through loans and its something I need to trust in. I truly believe that He will in His perfect timing provide the fund to cover said loans. God has yet to let me down and I have no reason to stop trusting Him now. Trusting Him brings me on the wildest adventures of my life. Though it takes me down some of the scariest paths as well, I have never grown more than when I trust in my God to protect me, sustain me, and comfort me in all areas of my life. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He will never leave me or forsake me and that is what is worth giving my life to. That is what is worth trusting my life to. To whatever comes of that trust, All Glory be to God!

Hebrews 13:8 (ESV)

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

Psalm 56:3 (ESV)

When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.