Remade

In the aftermath of trauma, a victim commonly struggles with identity. The relationship between trauma and identity is one that great study has been conducted on. Although such studies have been conducted, the complicated nature of such a topic calls for greater study to take place in order to have a more clear view on the relationship between the two (Berman).

Following trauma of any kind, according to Mental Health America, “it is normal to feel lots of emotions, such as distress, fear, helplessness, guilt, shame or anger” (Mental Health America). These symptoms can cause one to struggle with who they are, how they got to feeling what they feel, and wondering how they can get out of such a place. These steps need to be taken in order so that one can ensure victory over the trauma itself.

One must first figure out who they are in light of their trauma, understand what about the trauma led them to the emotional state that they are in post trauma, and make adjustments to mental processes in order to move forward mentally from said trauma. I want to clarify that the last step is not a call to forget about the trauma; but, to not allow the trauma to be where one’s identity is found.

How Did I Get Here?

Trauma has a way of effecting your mental and emotional state in every aspect of your life in an unhealthy way until you stop allowing it to affect you in such a way. Trauma affects the way you interact with others, if you trust other people, your self-esteem, levels of anxiety, frequency of depression, view on the value of life, etc. All of these have an effect on your life as a whole socially which then permeates to all areas of your life and translates into your identity. Before you realize it, you have fallen into the pit of low self-esteem, paranoia, depression, and seclusion.

Theses symptoms, if you let them, will push you into finding your identity in the feelings above that are so real to you; because, when you get so far as to find your identity in past trauma, you forget so easily what it is like to feel happiness not forced or self-confidence without affirmation from others. Before you realize it, trauma leads you to a place you have no idea how you ended up there but you know its not where you want to be. You realize that you are not who you once were and you want to be better; but you do not know how to get there.

How Do I Get Out?

This step takes the most time. Getting out of the rut of finding your identity in your trauma is the biggest step of recovery from trauma itself. To find your identity in something is to be enslaved to it.

For example, when you find your identity in being an athlete you prioritize your time and energy around getting the hours in the gym that you need to be the best you can be. Now, of course, holding a good work ethic does not mean identity is found in that athletic pursuit; however, when someone puts so much time into it that it comes in the way of friendships and opportunities coming your way for the future, this is when it is your identity.

When identity is found in the mistakes of your past or the traumas of your past, you will find yourself making decisions that you would not have originally made had you not experienced the incidents of your past.

It is at this time that the trauma of your past is enslaving you. It is keeping you from pursuing friendships out of fear of pain, rejection, failure, not being good enough, pretty enough, smart enough for the relationship to continue, etc. This begins to keep you from taking opportunities that may cause you to run into the one that victimized you in the first place.

Being a victim to trauma does not need to be your identity. Dropping out of school does not have to be your identity. Divorcee, fired, cheater, liar, etc. does not have to be your identity. Most importantly, something that has been done to you or something you have done does not need to be your identity. No matter what you do or what is done to you, you are more. You are more than all that is in your past. You are more than the struggles that you face. You are more than your past mistakes. YOU. ARE. MORE! You are a Child of God! You are loved! You are purposed!

Ephesians 2:10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

When you begin to believe who you are is in Christ alone, you will find the rest to slowly begin to be more clear who to trust, when to open up, when to tear the walls down and let someone in, when to take an opportunity despite the possible panic that may come, etc. When you rely on God to tell you what your identity is, you put your trust and your being into the hands of the Almighty God who through His word will always be reminding you of the beautiful creation He has woven you together to be (Psalm 139:13-18).

Finally, the most freeing thing you can do to continue your journey as you find your identity in Christ and not the trauma of your past or your past mistakes is to share your story. In my time sharing my story with my readers, I have been blessed with a peace and a freedom from God as He uses my story to speak hope into the lives of my readers. God has shown me how His plan for me has been purposed for something beyond my own growth alone. When I stopped letting those that victimized me have power over me through fear of speaking up, I started to share my story and that is when freedom began to reign in my soul. I realized that the same grace that is great enough to cover my sin, is great enough to give me peace after such trauma I have endured.

2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

The same power that rose Jesus from the grave, the same power that split the Red Sea, the same power that created everything around you down to every last cell in your body, is in those who are born again to Salvation. That power is what you have at your fingertips as you come out of trauma. There is freedom in that power to live a life outside of being a victim.

There is a beautiful peace that comes in sharing your story and you bet it relinquishes any power the devil had over you as he dangled your past in your face trying to discourage you from moving forward. Let the grace of God renew your soul today! Let him take your broken heart and remake it into a mended masterpiece that He will use for great things in the lives of people who need to hear your story!