Divided

Over the last few months, God has been convicting me of the importance of love over bitterness. In the present day, there is much division in every aspect of life. I am sure you are already thinking of a moment where you have recently seen division in relationships, families, friends, work, etc. People are divided over things that seem so small to some but so big to others. In all these situations of division, bitterness is present.

Bitterness does not happen because of disagreement, but it happens because of immaturity. Immature believers will allow their need to be right to make them forget the love God calls us to bestow on all people.

“‘Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?’ Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:36-40

Mature believers will not grow in bitterness for someone who disagrees with them, but they will grow in grace. Grace is necessary to have mature conversations about tense topics. Without grace, bitterness flourishes, breaks down families, work environments, and relationships. Bitterness divides us based on conviction, while grace unites us based on sharing a Heavenly Father. When bitterness arises, we focus on how we are different instead of how we all share the image of God and, if we are born-again image bearers, are in the same family of God. Bitterness then grows into distrust in God, as well as a lack of love for His people.

“See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.” Hebrews 12:15

When someone grows bitter, they have unresolved and unforgiven resentment towards others. They are failing to imitate God’s grace, daily bestowed upon them, now needing to be bestowed on someone else. It is truly heartbreaking to watch over the last two years how believers have divided, so far as ending relationships even, over things like vaccines, regulations, masking, quarantining, elections, and so much more. I am not going to sit here and walk through what side of each topic is right or wrong. The fact of the matter is, it does not matter. Let me say that again, it.does.not.matter!

I have a firm stance on each of those topics but none of these topics matter if I am not loving and gracious to those around me. It is so easy to love those and bestow grace upon people who agree with us. The struggle comes when it is about loving those who do not agree with us on something.

Each of the topics I mentioned above is one that people, including myself, are very passionate about where they stand. It is the passion that causes us to take these conversations so personally and easily forget our most important commandment from God: Love God and Love others “as yourself”. When we forget this commandment and are not living by it, we fall into division, sometimes hatred, and every time, bitterness.

So let’s evaluate what love looks like for a second because that is something we struggle with too. Some have a very skewed definition of love defined not by God’s Word but by worldly perspectives. Worldly love is very selfish, it focuses on what you can gain from the conversation instead of what you can give in the conversation. Maybe you are looking to gain pride in proving someone wrong, even if the tone and words you have to use are rude and cutting. You are willing to say those words if it means proving you are right and they are wrong. You value the pat you give yourself on the back much more than showing love. This is not love, it is pride.

Worldly love is agreeing with everything someone says. It is supporting everything they do, but you do not have to agree to love someone. You can love someone even when you do not agree. Love is so much more!

“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.” 1 Corinthians 13:1-3

Right here we see perfectly how our knowledge of something means nothing if we do not speak it in love. Disagreements happen, they are a part of life, but how we talk to someone is most important. Are we using words that cut them down? Assume a lack of IQ because they do not agree? Do you use a loving tone and remind them how much you respect and love them despite your disagreeing with them?

At the end of the day, disagreement is not bad. Disagreement is healthy and necessary to grow and learn. Without disagreement, one would never learn how to see something in a different way. We would miss out on so much growth if we all agreed on everything. We would likely all be stuck in the wrong mindset, but disagreement challenges people to think differently and solidify grown convictions, as well as a broader perspective on life. Disagreements promote people to do more searching into why they take the stance they do and make sure they are not taking Scripture out of context when Scripture is being used in disagreement.

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Loving God means you will love others as yourself. Loving others by God’s definition will encourage unity not division, grace not bitterness, and love not hatred. Without love being in our words, tone, and body language, Christians will continue to divide based on frivolous things like masks, regulations, vaccines, and elections.

Families will be torn apart, churches will be divided, friendships will be broken, and unbelievers will not see what is different between us and them. It is by our love that people will know Christ, so why allow pride, bitterness, and hatred to hinder us from showing Christ to others. Although it is important to have a stance, your stance is frivolous if you are focused more on being right than on loving others as God commands.

As Christians, we must not run from conflict. We also must not be run by our frustration, bitterness, or pride. We must, however, let the love of Christ be evident in how we talk to others no matter their stance.

“As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now, we see in a mirror dimly but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known. So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”

1 Corinthians 13:8-13