Changing Grace

There is a time in each of our lives where hopelessness is a reality. Maybe it is hopelessness in the recovery of past pains or hopelessness that you are deserving of any amount of grace for your past decisions. The lie that there is no hope is a true killer to anyone that accepts it. I shared in my most recent post, the truth of trauma in my childhood. That trauma, when I began to accept its’ realness and faced it head on as I came clean to my parents, was my form of hopelessness. The person I had feared living with my whole life was now going to know, through my parents' actions to protect me, that I was fearful of him. In my mind, he would only think he won and further try to intimidate me, which he did. I had lived my life protecting myself and keeping the truth of my traumatic past inside. I ignored the issue and just acted hostile towards him throughout my life. My hostility was the only logical way I could think of protecting myself until I put the truth of my trauma out in the light.

The light allowed God’s grace to flood into the darkness of my life and shone the light of hope of a better tomorrow. God’s grace changed my hopelessness to hopeful.

I looked back over my year seeing who I was in my sophomore year of college, embarrassed and not proud of who I was. I looked over my summer and I was overwhelmed. I was overwhelmed by the pain of my past hurts and mistakes. I doubted God’s grace could be great enough to heal me, restore me, or strengthen me. I felt like there was no answer. I was feeling pain like I never had before as I saw the life I had tried to forget becoming all too real. Still, I believed I was without hope of freedom and recovery. I had spent time daily in the word and in prayer, but I was prisoner to the guilt and pain of life until I embraced the grace of the salvation my God had offered me freely. I will never forget the day I realized just how wrong I was about God's grace not being sufficient. I was limiting God’s grace to an amount of pain, to an amount of mistakes, and to a period of time. The grace that changed me on the day of my salvation in Christ was once again embraced when I read Psalm 139 as it tugged my heart to tears.

Psalm 139:13;15-16 (ESV)

13 For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. 15 My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. 16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.

I have a hard-enough time accepting myself for some of the many mistakes I have made in my life, the lines I have crossed, the things I have said to people, or the thoughts I have had. But God knew every thought, hurt, decision, and anything I would ever do or experience; yet, He decided to send his son to die for me. He knew what I would do in my whole life. He knew the times I would break His law and ignore His guidance; but, He saw me worth dying for. He sees those same things in you! He sees you as worth dying for! He sees your past, current, and future mistakes; yet, He still extends His hand of grace to all who accept His free gift. He wants to give you grace in every hurt you experience! He wants to give you freedom from the pain you hold. Looking back, I can see God's protection over me. I can see different instances where He protected me from worse circumstances.

His grace changes the whole perspective of life. Though I have gone through hard times, I can look back and see where God's hand was actively protecting me from more harmful situations. I can see how He diverted me from relationships that were toxic, holding me back, or opportunities that would leave me at a dead end down the road.

He has provided in every way in my life through the free gift of grace. He allowed me to suffer such trauma and I believe it was to show me just how powerful and sufficient His grace is. He has been there by my side every step of the before, during, and after of hurts and mistakes in life. He allows circumstances to come that are hard to see Him in the moment; but, grows me closer to the woman I want to be and He wants me to be. He allows me to use my free will and even make my own mistakes; but, He is always there ready to guide me and lead me back to His truth. The question is not if God's grace is sufficient. The question is do you embrace the free gift of Grace or do you hide in the dark spots of life allowing guilt and hurt to run your life? Do you let God's grace shine light on your past hurts and mistakes?

2 Corinthians 12:8-9 (ESV)

9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

That day I embraced the gift God was freely offering of His grace, His light flooded and overwhelmed my soul. The grace of God brings a freedom from the guilt that comes with anything you have done, anything that embarrasses you about yourself, or any hurt you have experienced. Let His grace wash over you. Let His light shine bright in the darkest parts of your life. Your life of freedom began at the moment of salvation; but, it is a daily choice to live in the light of your salvation, of your freedom, and of God's grace in your life.

Psalm 51:12

Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.

The breathe of relief I have been able to feel as I embrace God’s grace is so refreshing. It is a decision I have to make daily. I have to wake up every day with the determination to live in the light and joy of the salvation that comes through Christ. I have to live in the light of His grace that gave me that salvation and freed me from guilt and hopelessness. The grace of God has changed the perspective I have on life. His example of Grace this past August changed me from who I was to a step closer to who I want to be. So, when you feel like you are hopeless with no possible way of moving past whatever you are facing, remember the grace God so freely gives. He offers a gift to free you of the guilt of all you have done and will do in the future. He offers grace to the ones hurting from past and current hurts or mistakes. Have you forgotten the amazing power of God's grace? Have you forgotten the true power of your salvation in Christ? How can you embrace God's grace today?