A Year in the Life

It has been a year since I wrote a blog. That was the longest time I have ever spent without writing since I started this blog four years ago. The time away was not at all intentional, however, it was much needed. Last fall, I took a position as a third grade teacher and needed to juggle life in a whole new way.

I needed to find a new work-life balance so I could be the best teacher while also being a good wife, sister, daughter, aunt, and friend. I am about to start my second year as a teacher in the same grade and at the same school. As I prepare, I am looking back at the year I have had with gratefulness and an urge to share God's work in my life with you.

As many of you know, I went to college for a Bachelor's and Master's degree in Counseling. I spent a year working at the mental health hospital working with adolescents. This experience was more than a way of completing my internship and practicum hours for college, but a life changing experience. I had the privilege of "living life" with kids from very sad backgrounds. These kids came from a variety of traumatic experiences and I was able to provide some hope in their life while being someone to show they are loved. Leaving this job was something that was meant to happen so I could follow God's calling to work in a school. Although the first school I worked at was not a place I saw myself putting down roots, I continued to look and found the school I am currently teaching at.

The craziest part about any big decision in my life like this, is that it happened so fast. When I decided to make the switch from Pensacola Christian College to Clarks Summit University, it was only a month between finding the school, applying, and showing up for volleyball's preseason. When my husband and I began dating, it was just a month after I decided I was finally content not being in a relationship with someone. Finally, when deciding to teach third grade, it was only a month before I was required to be in school for orientation. Many people were shocked when I decided to teach third grade rather than continue to pursue my goal of working as a guidance counselor, but I have been amazed to see how God has used my education and work experience to teach my students. I feel an amazing sense of fulfillment in teaching third graders and getting to utilize my knowledge of psychology in how I teach them. This brings me to the first lesson I learned during the last year:

1. You may be a bit surprised when you are led to go a different direction then you had originally planned, but God never is. God has a reason for leading you to where you are.

I never thought I would be using my education and experience to be a teacher, and yet, here I am. To answer anyone wondering, no I do not regret my degree at all just because right now I am teaching. I followed God's guidance when switching my major in the spring of 2018 and He led me to make that decision knowing where I would be now.

Deuteronomy 31:8 "It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; He will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”

The other big lesson I learned this last year has to do with the marriage relationship. The relationship between a husband and wife must not come before God but it must come before all other relationships. You may have people in your life that are very close to you and that you would never believe would come between you and your spouse, but you must never let your guard down. A marriage is a special covenant unlike no other. It must be protected at all costs.

A marriage is a beautiful picture of the unconditional love and forgiveness of our Father in heaven who sacrificed His son, who lived a perfect life, so that we can be in heaven with Him one day. That perfect, unconditional love is one the husband is called to exemplify. A husband is called to love his wife as Christ did the church and gave Himself up for her. What a crazy command for a husband to be given.

Ephesians 5:25 "Husbands, love your wives,

even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it."

One of my favorite things that I remember my pastor speaking of when my husband and I were in premarital counseling was the idea of a marriage not being about a promise to always like each other but a covenant to always choose love even when the feelings towards your spouse are encouraging you to give into selfishness, instead of love and forgiveness. Your sin nature will tempt you and beg of you to allow your frustrations toward your spouse to fuel your next action when your spouse forgets to do a chore a few too many times, does not show you grace on a tough day, or hurts you with their words. The devil would love for you to feed that feeling of anger or annoyance instead of meeting it with a level head and a gracious heart.

1 Peter 5:8 "Be sober-minded; be watchful.

Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion,

seeking someone to devour."

I love the word covenant when referring to a marriage as it brings about a team mentality. You are not each just making a promise to each other to forsake all others and put the other first, but to face things together forever. No matter what comes your way, you are a team together walking through the sin that will arise in a spouse's life in grace. The key here, of course, is that both spouses will be putting in the work to make the marriage work. Sin will show up in everyone's marriage because every marriage is between two imperfect people.

It is how you approach the problem as a couple that speaks volumes to the commitment you have to keep your covenant. The world we live in today is filled with people talking about "falling in love" when they start a relationship, but when the relationship ends, they say they just "fell out of love". In a covenant love, there is no "falling out of love" because you are promising to still choose the other person on the days they do not make you happy just like the days where they make you laugh till you cry.

You are to intertwine your life in such a way with your spouse that when one spouse sins it is a problem you both must face together. Your baggage is their baggage and their baggage is yours. Whatever problem may arise, you must face it together with your spouse. It needs to be you and your spouse united by God against the problem, not one spouse against the other trying to solve the problem. If your game plan to solve problems in your marriage is to see your spouse as the problem you allow more division in your marriage. The problem is not your spouse, it is the sin in your spouse's life. Attack whatever sin arises together. The second thing God has taught me this year is:

2. Always be on guard for where sin may come into your marriage. Satan loves nothing more than to tear marriages apart. It is crucial to be on guard for what sin may cause issues in your marriage relationship. When sin arises, because it will, attack it together.

Riley and I have been married over two years now and there have been many times where Riley has had to forgive me and show me grace for times I have fallen short of being kind and loving to him. There have also been many times I have had the privilege to show him the same grace and forgiveness when he has been unkind to me or sinned against me. We have both sinned against each other, but when we attack the problem as a couple there is a grown intimacy instead of division created. We are a team and it is a blessing to be constantly reminded of God's unconditional love for us in the way we continue to fulfill our covenant towards each other in our marriage.

The last big lesson I want to share with you is what I learned about friendships this last year. In the process of navigating my new job, I had to learn how to spend my time outside of work more wisely. I wanted to be sure I was spending what little time I had outside of work and time with Riley with people who would make me a better follower of Christ.

Proverbs 13:20 "Walk with the wise and become wise,

for a companion of fools suffers harm."

This meant asking God for guidance on which people I needed to invest the most time in. It also meant accepting reality when a friend was no longer someone that would continue to make me a better follower of Christ. Although I do not believe you should look for what you can get out of a relationship, I do believe friendships where there is not mutual accountability and an ability to face conflict is not a friendship at all. True friendships will include two people sharpening each other to become better through accountability and grace. If conflict happens these two will attack it together.

I think of my friend of 14 years. She and I met in sixth grade and have been best friends ever since. Emily and I have faced some difficulties in our friendship, but to this day I know that when conflict arises we face it together with grace. I know she will fight for me in prayer, give me wise counsel from Scripture, and challenge me to think more Christ-like. We hold each other accountable and walk through each problem together. We have cried together, laughed together, and rejoiced together.

Romans 12:15-16 "Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight."

At the end of the day she is a bright light of Christ in my life. She is the definition of a true friend, one who does life with you and you are a better follower of Christ because of their Christ-like love and forgiveness. I am beyond blessed to have her and others in my life who face conflict with me and do not back down in fear of facing hard times together. The final lesson from the last year of my life that I will share with you is this:

3. It is better to prioritize your life around the people who will make you more Christ-like than to entertain the acquaintances that are not willing to do life with you when things get difficult. You can love everyone and not be friends with everyone. Find your core group of people that will stick with you closer than a brother and invest in those friendships.

Proverbs 18:24 "One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin,

but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother."